Connect in Marriage With Date Nights

Early in our marriage we learned that while we WANT every day to be romantic, we still had to calendar a date night to be sure we gave one another our undivided attention. In over 31 years of marriage our date nights continue to be something we treasure and anticipate!

Here are a few things we’ve learned that may help your date nights be fulfilling as well:

1. Be disciplined. Look at your calendars for the upcoming weekend and pick a window of time that will work for the two of you to be together.  Once it’s chosen, protect that time. If something comes up, then be sure you have an alternate time for your date.

2. Be thoughtful. Perhaps you can take turns meeting each other’s core needs on your date nights.

Wives, one of a man’s top needs is recreational companionship, so do something he enjoys and engage in it wholeheartedly. Find your enjoyment through his enjoyment on your date. It will help him feel more connected with you.

Husbands, one of a woman’s top needs is conversation. Determine to go somewhere that the two of you can talk. Think about possible subjects you can ask her about: dreams about the future, her childhood, her friends. Talk about ways the two of you can improve your relationship (she’ll love that topic!).

3. Be exclusive. Now and then we have brought our children with us, or have gone out with special friends, but overall your date night is YOUR date night. We’ve seen couples avoid each other by only going out with friends. A simple word of warning: Don’t! You need focused time together.

Here are some ideas that we’ve done for date nights  that you might want to try:

  • Get dressed up and go out late to a nice restaurant for dessert. You get all the atmosphere and romance for ⅓ the price!
  • Go to a local park and go for a walk. Or walk around a local golf course once it’s closed for the evening/season.
  • Shop Groupon or Living Social for 2 for 1 deals at restaurants you want to try.
  • Go fishing or bowling (confession: we haven’t done these!)
  • Take a class together. We once did ballroom dancing and it was a blast because we’re terrible at it! You could take a cooking class too!
  • We love to go to art museums. Sometimes we start telling each other humorous comments about the paintings–we’ve laughed so hard it was tough not to make a scene!
  • Dinner and a movie are always a good staple date. Take turns picking the movie.
  • Some of our friends have their date over breakfast and coffee at a favorite breakfast restaurant.
  • We’ve had romantic picnics and we’ve had disaster picnics that were overridden by mosquitoes (funny memories, though!).
  • Be spontaneous. Look at the map and pick a little town an hour away. Drive there and choose a restaurant to try.

You’ve got the idea. Bottom line: make your marriage a priority, have a regular date night and build your marriage!