How often do the two of you get away for at least one night—just the two of you? We believe taking exclusive time away can be life-giving and inject your marriage with renewed connection and intimacy. Would you agree?
Unfortunately, we often meet couples who have never gotten away for night away from their children. The excuses range from self-acknowledged “helicopter parenting,” to expense, childcare, and coordinating schedules to make it work.
Maybe you used to get away, but life got busy and you haven’t made it a priority. Our challenge to each couple is to get away at least once a year to invest in your marriage. You might choose a marriage conference to build your marriage 🙂 or an opportunity for for the two of you to enjoy some carefree hours/days of conversation and play on your own. Here are some things to think about as you consider your getaway:
What habits form your life? In the course of most people’s average day, a huge percentage of decisions aren’t decisions at all, but actually habits. In Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, he cites a report by a Duke University researcher that “more than forty percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t decisions, but habits.”
To be extremely simplistic, with Duhigg’s work, habits are formed by a “cue” that launches a “behavior” followed by a “reward” that is established over time and choice into habit. For example, “When I get up (cue) I brush my teeth (behavior) and enjoy the fresh breath and smooth teeth (reward).” If the reward is good enough, I’ll keep up the behavior and form a habit!
As part two of our “Habits of An Effective Husband” we’ve included five more habits that we believe are vital for a husband to build into the rhythm of his life. Add your suggestions and insights below, too!
1. Protect her
Recently Brad was asked by a friend, “What are the two or three top habits of a highly effective husband?” Brad thought for a moment and then shared the first five top habits of an effective husband that came to mind.
After their conversation, the list continued to grow in Brad’s mind. So here are the first five habits that Brad shared with his friend and next week we’ll present part two. Each of these take proactivity on the husband’s part, but they are actionable for every husband.
Have you ever agonized over whether or not to change jobs? How did you process it as a couple?
I (Heidi) work part-time for a small company. Recently I agonized over whether or not to change jobs. An opportunity presented itself and it met many of my qualifications (schedule, pay, commute, etc.). One minute I would be 95% certain to stay in my current job and hours later I would be 95% sure the best thing was to change jobs.
To say this was difficult is an understatement. Brad and I spent hours praying about both opportunities and sought godly counsel from people we trusted. But the godly counsel we sought was conflicting – some people said to stay; others said go. We made pro and con lists. We did everything we knew to do when faced with a tough decision.