Choosing a Marriage Accountability Partner

Eight Questions You Need to Consider

Accountability

Who do you have that keeps you accountable in your marriage? Do you have someone who will ask you how you have been treating your spouse? Do you have anyone who helps you keep your commitment to your spouse?

This isn’t someone who collects complaints about your marriage. We’re talking about the person who brings you back to center. This is the person who helps you honor God and remember your vows. They keep you on point in romancing and cherishing your spouse. For example, Brad’s accountability partner speaks with him every week. He asks hard questions. He provides good challenges. He is a champion for our marriage.

We challenge every married person to find a marriage accountability partner. Here are eight questions to guide you as you consider an accountability partner for your marriage.

1. Are they the same gender as you?

Because of the intimate nature of questions to be asked, it is both wise and prudent for this person to be your gender. Otherwise, you’re immediately setting yourself up for the possibility of Satan using that relationship against your marriage.

2. Do they know and love you?

They need to know your strengths and your weaknesses. You need to be confident that they are for you in all things.

3. Do they know and love your spouse?

Similarly, they should be well acquainted with your spouse. They should be an advocate for your spouse. Their role is to help you not only recognize the strengths of your spouse, but also the blessing your spouse is to you.

4. Do they know and love the Bible?

The counsel, challenge, and support you receive has to be true to Scripture. Then the counsel you receive will be in line with the character and nature of God and His desire for marriage.

5. Will they commit to pray for you?

There is a spiritual war being waged against your marriage. You need someone who holds you accountable personally and intercedes for you prayerfully.

6. Will they ask hard questions?

Will they ask you questions about your sexual purity? About your thought life? About the way you’re treating your spouse when you’re frustrated? Will they press you about your servant actions at home? Will they ask whether you have been self-centered or prideful? These are hard questions to hear but important ones to have injected into your life on a regular basis.

7. Will they tell you the truth?

If they see or hear anything in you that raises concern, will they talk to you about it? An accountability partner who doesn’t hold you accountable is failing both you and your marriage.

8. Will they be FOR your marriage?

The last thing you need is someone who either subtly or overtly gives counsel that drives a wedge in your marriage. You want an accountability partner who will fight for your marriage. You need someone who will encourage you toward resolution and reconciliation when your relationship is hard.

So who are you going to ask? Who comes to mind? Think about it this week and invite someone to be your marriage accountability partner. When you do, you will be taking great strides to build your marriage!

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