Kissing to Build Your Marriage

Older couple kissing

When we were dating we had a kissing contest with another couple who is now on the board of Build Your Marriage. To the best of our recollection (it was over 30 years ago) the contest lasted nearly an hour and the rule was that your lips had to constantly touch. It was funny for us to try and talk with lips locked, peek at each other to see who would hold out longest, and try to get the other couple to crack up so we could win!

In a recent survey by the British Heart Foundation, almost one in five married couples don’t kiss for an entire week! Two in five married couples kiss for just FIVE seconds when they DO kiss!

We hope you are in the healthier 3/5 that kiss more than five seconds at a time! Here’s a question you and your spouse can talk about: In the context of being at home—Is it possible to kiss too many times during a day? Or to kiss too long? Or to be too passionate? (Hint: the desired answer is…NO!)

In marriage, it’s the couples who keep kissing much and often who have the greater joy, connection, and romance. Your lips are one of the most sensitive areas of your body. So when you are in close proximity (and you have to be!) to plant a kiss on your spouse, there is tenderness and connection when your lips touch.

Your kiss expresses attention, care and intimacy all at once. It doesn’t have to be passionate every time—sometimes it may be a five second smooch.

When you kiss your spouse, you are affirming their worth and letting them know that they matter to you. Your kiss says, “I love you.”

On the practical side:

  • Kissing for one minute burns 2 − 6 calories (Which means we burned 120 − 360 calories in that contest!).
  • Men who kiss their wives good-bye live an average of five years longer.
  • Kissing stimulates saliva which washes harmful bacteria off your teeth (studies don’t say if the saliva passes to your spouse).
  • Kissing boosts immunity—you’re helping your spouse stay healthy! And kissing reduces stress.

So…what’s your kissing quotient been to this point? How can you intentionally increase your daily kisses? When you do, you will be well on your way to Build Your Marriage!

Oh, and the kissing contest? We lost.