We want every couple to have a phenomenal marriage and that’s why we are committed to Build Your Marriage! We offer free resources through social media and our website to help you take your next steps as a couple. In addition, we travel across the country providing marriage conferences.
But what are some key qualities that make a phenomenal marriage? Here are 11 for you to consider:
1. Centered on Jesus
A marriage centered of Jesus is going to be unswayed by the world’s influences and values. As each of you grows spiritually in your own relationship with Christ, you will grow in relational intimacy as well.
2. Prayer together
The intimacy, vulnerability, and unity experienced in mutual prayer is powerful. If you and your spouse haven’t begun praying together—or haven’t done so consistently—now is the time to start. This one practice can exponentially protect and build your marriage.
Trust is the character trait that is the bedrock of a phenomenal marriage. This means a firm resolve to tell the truth to each other in all circumstances. When you trust your spouse, you know that they will consistently “have your back” and support you. It provides security and safety in a marriage.
This is an act of the will. It is making the decision to stay faithful and focused on this singular relationship above all others. While our emotions can fluctuate, our commitment overrides circumstances and chooses to remain steadfast.
Beyond romantic love, there is a love that chooses to sacrifice and serve for the well-being of one’s spouse. It’s the same kind of love that was displayed by Jesus going to the cross for our sins, He gave himself up willingly for our well-being. When we love our spouse like that, it’s phenomenal!
6. Strong communication
Good communication takes work. It requires the effort to listen carefully to one’s spouse and be sure you understand what they are saying. It means explaining things clearly, honestly, and in love. As you develop your communication skills as a couple, you’ll increase intimacy and decrease misunderstandings.
7. Conflict resolution skills
A phenomenal marriage will still have disagreements and conflict because you each bring different perspectives. Working through those conflicts with love and respect strengthens you as a couple. You’ll make better decisions.
8. Physically intimate
In a phenomenal marriage, spouses regularly express physical affection like kissing, hand-holding, hugging, intimate touching, and love-making. While some couples are unable to make love due to physical challenges, all couples can express forms of intimacy.
9. Shared interests
A phenomenal marriage has interests the spouses enjoy together. For us, we love to travel, eat soft serve ice cream 😉 and we are passionate about Build Your Marriage and our family. We have our individual interests as well–but shared interests bind us together.
10. Invested in the marriage
Making sacrifices of time and resources to strengthen the marriage relationship is vital. From regular date nights, reading books/blogs on marriage, and going to marriage conferences—a phenomenal marriage is never satisfied with the status quo.
It’s healthy to laugh and enjoy life together. We laugh a lot and often our laughter is simply at ourselves for something we said or did. A phenomenal marriage injects humor into the dailyness of life.
What else would you add? Read these 11 qualities through with your spouse. Independently rate yourselves on a 1 (not so good) to 10 (PHENOMENAL!) scale. Then talk about why you gave each quality the rating you did. Celebrate the strengths, work on the growth areas, and commit to build your marriage!