Four Keys in the Fight for Unity in Marriage


When you got married the joy and unity you declared was shared by everyone present. You pronounced your vows. Your commitment to each other was “till death do us part.” And heaven rejoiced. At the same time that you declared your unity in Christ as a couple, hell gnashed its collective teeth. A war was mustered against your marriage. Satan and his minions began their work to divide once the unity God had created.

You see, as Christians you and your spouse are bearers of God’s glory. You have been given the very thing Satan desired and that caused his expulsion from Heaven. As Christ followers, you two are a visible picture to a watching world of Jesus’ relationship with the Church. Your unity depicts His relationship with His Bride.

As such, if the Enemy can break the unity of your marriage through disunity, separation, or divorce he mars the reflection of God’s glory through you. When he divides you, he discredits the message of Jesus to those watching. Who knows the successive waves of spiritual devastation that that can wreak?

If Satan can separate you, he knows that it can impact the future of your children. Their faith gets shaken, the success of their marriages is weakened. Resolve today that Satan will not shake you or sift you. He will not divide your unity. What became 1 will STAY 1!

You may be on your second or third marriage. You know the pain and the carnage of division. The Enemy wants you to experience shame and regret for the past. But God is calling you to look forward and chart a new future with Him. To determine that from here on out you will do ALL things in your marriage through Christ who gives you strength. You will break the trend of brokenness and fight for unity!

There’s no “magic formula” in our fight for unity. It begins by a decision, an act of the will and declaration that you will stay united. We offer four keys to implement individually and together as a couple as you fight for unity and peace. You may come up with more on your own (good!), but this keeps it memorable:

1) Surrender

Surrender daily to the Lordship of Jesus Christ over your life and your marriage. When Jesus is at the center of your relationship and at the head of your marriage, you seek to please Him first and foremost. All too often we ease Jesus off the throne and place ourselves—or some other idol—front and center. Submit to Jesus and all else falls into place.

2) Ask

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any place of weakness and vulnerability in your life and in your marriage. Confess what needs to be made right with God and your spouse. Stay on guard in those areas and shore them up with prayer, scripture, and accountability.

3) Resist

Resist resist the enemy out loud at any point of temptation or division. Declare in the Name of Jesus that Satan will not have a foothold in your life or in your marriage!

4) Blanket

Blanket your marriage with Scripture, worship music, and the Name of Jesus. He is the Rock upon which your marriage will stand strong!

Do whatever it takes to fight for unity and win for Jesus as you build your marriage!

3 Ways to Bless Your Spouse

Love Hearts with 'Bless you'

Pastors and Priests give blessings at the end of a worship service. Prayers of blessing are offered for a couple during their wedding ceremony. If someone sneezes we often say, “Bless you!” When we unexpectedly receive something good we remark that we just received a blessing. One of Brad’s relatives from a few generations ago used to call unused silverware after dinner “blessings.” (no dishwashers back then!)

But how can we intentionally bless our spouse? Certainly we can be nice, perhaps purchase something or help around the house. Those aren’t to be minimized at all! And yet, is there something deeper, perhaps more meaningful which we can initiate and bring to him or her?

We are going to suggest three tangible ways you can bless your spouse. Choose one or all three. Choose them often. Every time you sense the Spirit of God nudging you, take a step forward and bless your spouse.

1. Bless your spouse verbally

While it’s important to affirm our spouse for what they do (thanks for vacuuming, working hard at your job, picking up consistently, etc.), there another powerful way to speak blessing into our spouse.

Bless your spouse for who they ARE. Think about the character qualities in them which you can affirm. Here are a few ideas: integrity, work ethic, tenderness, compassion, attention to details, protector, adventurous, loyal, likeable, truthful, understanding, disciplined—you get the idea. Then tell them, “You know, I’ve been watching you and I really love you for how you are _____________.” Or “I respect you for your _____________.” And follow up with an “I love you.”

2. Bless your spouse physically

Non-sexual touches can let your spouse know that you value them and appreciate them. An arm around their waist in public, walking arm-in-arm, holding hands often, a gentle back rub.

A more sacrificial way to bless your spouse physically is sexually. You aren’t always going to “feel” like making love, but giving your spouse the gift of you being as engaged as possible is a way of blessing your spouse. (Note: this does not apply in abusive situations.)

3. Bless your spouse prayerfully

In recent months we have begun holding each other before one of us heads out the door at the start of the day. We then pray out loud for each other while in that embrace. We thank God for each other and for our marriage. We pray for God’s protection, His favor, and His grace. Letting your spouse hear you pray a blessing for them on a regular basis is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow in them.

What do you think? How will you choose to bless your spouse as you build your marriage?

Love When Life is Uncertain


Life is unpredictable and as a result, we need to say our love and show our love daily to our spouse.

On April 15, 2013 two bombs took the lives of three people at the Boston Marathon and physically altered the lives of 176 others. Emotionally our nation has carried the pain of their loss and wondered where and when terror may strike again.

Weeks earlier we viscerally ached as a nation through the Newtown, CT tragedy. On a local scale, families face loss a variety of ways—some expected and others unexpected and far too soon.

We will reference some resources below which may be of help in processing and understanding why there is evil, pain and sorrow. Our purpose right now is to urge each of us to be intentional in our marriages vs. the pull toward routine and neglect. To show appreciation to our spouse that he/she deserves.

Years ago our youngest daughter had a fear that something may happen to another family member after we left the house. She was quite young at the time, but initiated saying “love!” as the final word as someone walked out the door or at the conclusion of a phone call. The reason? She wanted the last thing she said and we heard to be that we were loved.

In the years since that time we have continued saying “love!” in our family. In fact, even our final text messages often end with “love!” Perhaps that tradition should be initiated in all our homes. What do you think?

In light of the latest tragedies, we encourage you to be reminded anew of the vows you uttered before God and man. You once said that you were committed to “love and to cherish, until death us do part.” Do whatever is necessary today to make your vow a reality as you build your marriage.

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