35 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage

Reflections after 35 years of marriage

Brad and Heidi Mitchell

Yesterday we celebrated our 35thwedding anniversary. As we reflected on our marriage, we talked about keys that have helped us and practices we wish we had incorporated earlier in our marriage.  We thought we’d share our list and hope it’s helpful for you as you Build Your Marriage:

  1. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.
  2. Grow together spiritually, intellectually, and in all areas of life.
  3. Pursue a team mentality…you’re in this together.
  4. Pray together daily.
  5. Strengthen your friendship…Enjoy each other.
  6. Cultivate an ongoing awe for your spouse.
  7. Continue to date each other.
  8. Make love often.
  9. Have fun…laugh together and smile at each other.
  10. Say, “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong.
  11. Ask questions to fully understand your spouse.
  12. Listen and don’t interrupt.
  13. Surround yourselves with godly friends who are for your marriage.
  14. Be willing to see a godly Christian counselor.
  15. Create shared experiences and memories together.
  16. Kiss passionately at least once a day.
  17. Be unified in parenting decisions.
  18. Tithe your income to God.
  19. Discuss major financial purchases with each other.
  20. Be faithful to your marriage vows. Avoid temptation.
  21. Attend church regularly together. If possible, participate in a couples small group.
  22. Celebrate anniversaries, birthdays and life events.
  23. Honor each other’s families.
  24. Help each other with household chores and duties.
  25. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Be polite.
  26. Don’t berate your spouse, especially in front of your children or in public.
  27. Tell the truth…even if it’s hard. Don’t keep secrets.
  28. Show appropriate public displays of affection.
  29. Serve your spouse without expecting recognition.
  30. Pray throughout the day for your spouse.
  31. Think the best of your spouse and their intentions.
  32. Flirt with each other.
  33. Get away together at least once a year.
  34. Occasionally surprise your spouse with a gift—candy, flowers, coffee, etc.
  35. Don’t quit!

Which ones do you two do well? Which are you going to work on? Get started today and you’ll be on your way to 35 years and more as you build your marriage!

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