Before you get married, how can you know your future spouse’s commitment to you? The truth is there can be an onslaught of factors that hit a marriage through the years that can threaten a couple’s commitment to each other. Add on the very real spiritual forces of evil that want to destroy marriage, and you realize how important each partner’s resolve must be from the outset to remain faithful.
When couples are dating they naturally give verbal affirmation of their undying love and faithfulness. But are there some steps you can take to gain a deeper understanding of their commitment before marriage?
We believe there are four things you can explore in the areas of their…
1. Commitment to Jesus
The very first post in this series explores your spiritual compatibility (you can find it here). Knowing someone’s commitment to Jesus is discovered best through your time together. Lots of people go to church or know how to use Christian terms.
What you are looking for are observable occasions when they had to choose between an easy course of behavior/action, or one which honors Jesus. Are their decisions reflective of a deep and ongoing commitment to Jesus?
2. Commitment to your purity
The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy should be reserved for marriage. That’s not prudish or puritanical. It’s biblical and for the well-being of the marriage. If they are able to respect you and your relationship with Jesus before marriage, you can be more confident of their commitment and respect of you when you are married. You can read more about the lies of living together here.
3. Commitment to their covenant
Marriage isn’t an agreement or a contract, but a covenant. A covenant is a binding agreement between two parties of commitment for life. In the Bible, God made a covenant with Abram promising him the land of Canaan as an inheritance. Jesus made a new covenant with us through his sacrifice on the cross regarding our eternal relationship with him by believing in him.
It’s critical before marriage that the two of you talk about what keeping your covenant means. Determine together your agreement that you are keeping your commitment. Resolve to never use the word “divorce” in an argument or even in jest because it is not an option.
4. Commitment to their vows
When appropriate, talk about different wedding vows and what you choose to declare during the ceremony. Go through each declaration of commitment and discuss what it means to each of you:
- To be loving
- To be faithful
- To have and to hold
- For better
- For worse
- For richer
- For poorer
- In sickness
- In health
- To love
- To cherish
- To serve
- As long as you both shall live.
Your discussions of commitment before marriage will set the stage for commitment after marriage. And as you declare your vows and embark on your journey of life together, you will build your marriage.