Keeping love and romance fresh and alive in marriage takes intentionality and thoughtfulness. In the early years of dating, engagement, and marriage the wonder and effort poured into a relationship can seem natural.
Here are some simple ways to refresh your marriage this week. Choose one or all five as a way to pour your love on your spouse and let them know how much they mean to you.
Take the time to write a note or letter expressing what you appreciate about your spouse. Our recommendation is to focus on character qualities and endearing personality traits. Choose three things to list out. If you can, give some recent examples of when you observed those traits in their lives.
Choose a time when you can have your spouse’s full attention. It may be over dinner, on a drive, or just before bed. Let them know that you have something positive you’d like to tell them (that way they don’t worry and you pique their interest!).
Let your spouse know how much you believe in them. Everyone needs a fan—a cheerleader—and God has placed you in that role for your spouse. Tell them what you believe about their future, where you see their abilities thriving, and the influence you believe they can have in the years to come.
On a practical level, do a household task for them that they usually do. It may be something that you know they really don’t enjoy, or a task that is particularly time-consuming. When they ask why, just let them know you wanted to free them up to do something else they would enjoy more!
Another thing you might consider is to do a project that you know they’ve been wanting to have done for long time. You may have to wait a week or two to gather supplies or block off the time needed, but there’s nothing wrong with setting a date in the near future to accomplish a task that’s been “out there” for awhile!
Proactively ask your spouse for two things you can be praying about in the coming week that are on their heart. Make the commitment to pray about those two things every day over the next week. You might even ask if you can pray with them right now about their prayer concerns.
Be sure to follow up next week and ask about those requests. It’s been said that “a shared burden is half a burden” and your desire to carry that burden in prayer will be refreshing to their spirit.
Make the effort to show love to your spouse according to their love language. If you’d like to learn more about these, Dr. Gary Chapman has written about them in his book, Love Languages.
The five love languages are: Quality Time, Touch, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Words of Encouragement. We’re all a blend of these, but each of us has a dominant style.
So this week, think through how you can can simply express your love to your mate the way that will best connect to their heart. It might not feel natural because it isn’t your style, but it will be meaningful to your spouse.
As you practice any or all of these ideas, We believe they will refresh their heart and help keep the fires of love and romance alive as you build your marriage!