While one may not verbalize this lie, buying into it opens the door for a covert adulterous relationship. The thought is: “Since my spouse isn’t meeting my ____________ needs, I can have those needs fulfilled elsewhere. Then I can be content in my marriage and not expect ___________ from my spouse.”
Here are five things to remember about infidelity:
1. Infidelity always hurts your marriage
The truth is that infidelity, whether emotional or sexual, always hurts your marriage. Betrayal in a relationship involves multiple layers of deception. The lies and coverups impact the dynamics of your marriage. The initial thrill of the affair devolves into fear of being caught. The illusion of being elusive is shattered when the affair is exposed. No one can accurately pre-calculate the successive waves of consequences on lives and relationships from an exposed affair.
2. Infidelity increases poor decisions
Additionally, the thinking of a person involved in the affair becomes increasingly flawed. To have bought the lie and participated in such a cover-up means decisions elsewhere in life are defective as well. Flawed and deceptive thinking is not compartmentalized, but spills into all areas of your life.
3. Infidelity puts your health at risk
In a sexual affair, you’ve made the choice to bring all of the previous parters of your adulterous party into your marriage as well. Any STD’s their partners had are now with you and part of your marriage as well.
4. Infidelity is a turning from God
Aside from the sheer wisdom reasons not to commit adultery, you are making a conscious decision to find fulfillment in your life from another person instead of turning to God. If you are missing something from your marriage, you should be turning to God to give you the strength to address it with your spouse or to grow closer to Him through it.
An affair dilutes your spiritual walk with Jesus. What God said to the Israelites is true for us today, “But your iniquities have separated you from your God your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear” (Isaiah 59:2). We’ve talked to too many people who have been deceived in their thinking who thought that their relationship with God was unaffected by their adultery.
5. Infidelity will be exposed
Nearly every affair gets exposed over time. God calls you to purity and to fidelity to your spouse. He will bless you and guide you. The adage, “The grass is greener where you water it” is true. If couples in adultery would put the time and energy of the affair into their marriage they might see the results they are so earnestly desiring. the Bible rightly warns us, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7).
Stay faithful. Do what it takes to severe any relationships that are threatening your marriage. As you do you will be making courageous steps to build your marriage.