Holiday stress can weigh heavily on a marriage. Here’s our little “Christmas” list on keeping your season filled with joy and peace:
Generous??? We had been homeless for nearly 10 months and during that time being generous seemed impossible. We lost 90% of our income overnight. We couldn’t afford to get into another place to live. A kind couple gave us the upstairs of their home to live in.
That was our story just a few years ago. How could we practice generosity? But looking back we can see how God not only provided for us in miraculous ways, he honored our efforts at being generous.
Like any other couple, we have seen our share of change in almost 35 years of marriage. And so have you. There are all kinds of things that can change in our lives: health, job, career, having children, moving, financial (up or down), deaths, accidents, church, friendships, and the list goes on. And even if only one of you is facing a change of some kind, it affects both of you…and your marriage.
For over 60 years the game show, “To Tell The Truth” has aired on television and it’s basically an exercise in honesty. Have you ever watched it? Here’s how it’s played: four celebrity panelists ask questions of three participants. One of the contestants truly has had an unusual occupation or experience while the other two contestants are imposters trying to throw off the celebrities. Only one of the three contestants is actually telling the truth. It’s a great show!
But in marriage, if you or your spouse is regularly wondering if they are hearing the truth or a fabrication, it’s no game. The “white lies,” “casual lies,” and layers of deception erode the very foundation of a marriage. Trust is broken and it can take a long time to rebuild trust and restore the value of absolute honesty in a marriage.
For just a moment, think about all the preparation that went into your wedding: saying “I do,” picking the date, setting the budget, finding the location for the wedding and reception, choosing the dress, selecting the colors, asking attendants, making the guest list (and cutting it down!), finding the photographer, musicians, officiant, and the list goes on and on. So much planning went into the wedding! (We get this as we’ve planned two weddings in the past year!) During the ceremony there were multiple components of the service as well. And yet of all the elements that had to come together for your special day, we believe the most important moment was when you declared your vows to each other.
With the horrific tragedy of the Las Vegas shooting came stories of sacrifice, heroism, and bravery. In the face of evil came multiple accounts of first responders, off-duty cops, and ordinary citizens doing everything necessary to save lives and bring comfort.
One of the stories that gripped the world was that of a married couple from Tennessee, Sonny and Heather Melton. They had traveled to Las Vegas and were attending the Harvest 91 concert.
Recounting what happened Heather said, “When we realized it was gunshots going off and not fireworks like everyone thought, I said let’s get down and he said, ‘No, we’ll get trampled. Let’s go, let’s go.’”
We want every couple to have a phenomenal marriage and that’s why we are committed to Build Your Marriage! We offer free resources through social media and our website to help you take your next steps as a couple. In addition, we travel across the country providing marriage conferences.
But what are some key qualities that make a phenomenal marriage? Here are 11 for you to consider:
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to feel like they’re carrying the lion’s share of the load in the marriage. Whether real or perceived, it can create a strain in the marriage.
In our last post we talked about some important considerations when laziness presents itself. But what are some practical steps you can take to bring about a solution? Here are five things you can do: